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[fourlevels]

"Hi! This is Viktor Nikiforov!
Please leave a message!"

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[beautiful_monster]

[He shifts uneasily in his seat and takes as big a bite as he can manage to buy himself some time. Even if he wanted to talk about it, there are so many reasons to be stressed that he's not sure where to begin. The regular violent events? Dealing with two murderers in his immediate social circles? All his friends being abuse victims??? Maybe the impending memory loss when they finally go home!

He swallows after chewing for way too long.]

...How can you not be stressed?

[fourlevels]

[ The pause sort of answers itself. Viktor may be dense most of the time, but sometimes, on rare occasions, he picks up on cues the others might miss. That and the fact that they're living in a dystopian hellscape with sci-fi themes lends itself to Yuri's answer. ]

... I concentrate on what I can do or want to do rather than the things I can't change.

[beautiful_monster]

[There's another long, weighty pause. It's not that it's an unhelpful answer—more that even some of the things Yuri wants to do leave a knot of unease in his chest, or an icy frost of fear down his spine.]

...It's... I am doing that. I'm trying to. You know there's a lot I'm doing to try to make things better or safer, but it's still frightening. [He takes another bite of the bun and mutters around the mouthful.] Just not as scary as doing nothing.

[fourlevels]

[ He glances at him sideways. ]

You mean with your powers?

[beautiful_monster]

Not exactly... I mean—kind of?

[With the bun finished, he starts fidgeting with the wrapper, folding and unfolding it while he talks.]

It's more about what I'm going to do with them. I really want to protect people, but...I don't know. It's still scary.

[fourlevels]

[ Viktor reaches into the bag, pulling out a package of beef jerky and handing it to Yurio. ]

I would imagine being a hero-like figure would be scary.

[beautiful_monster]

[Good call. He takes the pack and starts tearing the jerky into smaller pieces to nibble on.]

I haven't even saved anyone yet. You can't call me hero-like yet, can you?

[fourlevels]

But you're training to do so, making sure to hone your skills so you don't make mistakes or misuse them. That's sounds pretty heroic to me.

[beautiful_monster]

You really think so?

[fourlevels]

It's kind of like a policeman too, right? Or a firefighter. Practicing to save as many people as possible.

[ Just, y'know. Illegally. Minor detail, that. ]

[beautiful_monster]

Yeah...but guys like that don't get scared about doing their job.

[fourlevels]

Of course they do.

[beautiful_monster]

How would you know? Isn't it their job not to be scared?

[fourlevels]

Haven't you heard the phrase that you have to be scared first in order to be brave?

[beautiful_monster]

No. How does that even make sense? You can't be scared if you're brave.

[fourlevels]

It does so make sense! It's like ... it's like a quad jump. If it wasn't such a hard thing to accomplish, it wouldn't be a big deal to do it successfully, right? You have to work yourself up to do it. That's just like being brave. If being brave were easy, then everyone would do something brave everyday. But they don't because they're too scared. Being brave is working through that fear and doing it anyway despite being scared.

[beautiful_monster]

I... [He frowns and trails off. There really isn't anything he can think of to say in rebuttal to that.]

I guess... But it still feels like I've got a lot to work through.

[fourlevels]

Anything I can help with?

[beautiful_monster]

[Yuri rolls his eyes and mutters around a mouthful of jerky.]

What do you know about getting less scared to seriously fight people? You know I had to use a crossbow the other day?

[fourlevels]

A crossbow?

[beautiful_monster]

A crossbow. [He takes another mechanical bite of jerky.]

...At least they aren't as loud as guns.

[fourlevels]

[ Well that's concerning. He keeps still though, not wanting to overreact since Yurio was obviously trying to keep it cool. ]

... When were you around guns?

[beautiful_monster]

Uh... [He glances away to avoid looking Viktor in the eye.] A while ago. About a week before the flooding. —But I wasn't hurt!

[fourlevels]

How close?

[beautiful_monster]

... Kind of...in the middle of a gun fight. I was lucky Magnus was there to protect me.